Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
