His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
