what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
