After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
