I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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