I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
