fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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