he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
