Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
