Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
