Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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