I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Randomize
