There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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