More tranny stories later!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
