so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
