we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
