anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's rum buckets o'clock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
