I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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