dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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