Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
