I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
