So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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