that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
