You can't motorboat a personality
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
