I think i peed on brittanys purse
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
being pregnant is like rehab
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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