Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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