I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if only i could text you this smell
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
