; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Too much gin, very little bucket
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
