? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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