waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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