you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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