So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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