Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
