sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
