Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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