plz talk dirty to me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
