Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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