She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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