Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
