Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
