She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
