Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
