i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
