Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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