In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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