i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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