you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
