I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
