the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
