First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
