There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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