i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
