i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
