There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
