Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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