bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
